he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
