Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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