Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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