# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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