I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
