): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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