I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
