Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
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