haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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