My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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