There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
