this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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