I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize