Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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