Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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