Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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