I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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