She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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