Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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