ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize