Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize