I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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