K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
