OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize