belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize