i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
barbara walters just said penis...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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