I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We left an ass print on the piano.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
