I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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