Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
