alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
it glows. i had to have it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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