The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
