Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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