im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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