whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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