They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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