I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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