His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
