I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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