Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
