summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Panties = found
Randomize
