You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
