I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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