Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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