Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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