Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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