I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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