I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That accounts for only three of the penises
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
