nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Screwed.edu
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
