ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
