He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
