Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.

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(440): View more from Ohio

He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim

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(561): View more from Florida

i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls

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(513): View more from Ohio

I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!

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(803): View more from South Carolina

He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b

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(631): View more from New York

Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?

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(917): View more from New York City

Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.

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(313): View more from Michigan

After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.

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