After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
