so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
