I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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