he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
