I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
why do cheetos always look like penises
This house was built for laser tag.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
