i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
