We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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