I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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